Working at the New World Deli

I have learned a lot of things in the last few months.
1) two oven mits with holes in them is not equal to one oven mit without holes.
2) the three second rule is extended to up to an hour depending on how expensive the product was.
3) a laundry bag stuffed with a tea towel is not equal to an oven mit
4) blunt knives will work if enough brute force is applied, and that way it doesn't even matter which side of the knife you use.
5) gloves and hand washing is for sissies
6) never throw away mouldy, discoloured or smelly bits of meat; they can be saved and served to nasty customers when the need presents itself
7) luncheon sausage never expires. If dry and crumbly, simpley rub in some oil and put it back into the cabinet.
8) strange rashes can be made fun. I like to play a game I call "find the allergen".
9) walking on deli floors is futile. Slide around on the ham shavings instead.